As an aside, are these not the cutest tippy-toes you ever did see?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Doubt
This morning as I was running late for work, my husband asked me if I took a test this morning. "A pregnancy test?" I asked, confused. He certainly couldn't mean anything that has to do with school or learning, because he knows that I think that kind of crap is for the birds. "Yes" he said simply, like duh, of course you need to take ANOTHER pregnancy test because the first four may or may not have actually been positive. "Are you doubting the accuracy of the other tests?" He shrugged, like 'forget I said anything', but even though I was already going to be 10 minutes late for work and had already peed twice so far, I am nothing if not stubborn. I grabbed the cup and one of the handy-dandy bulk preggo tests I bought and went to town. I managed to test the 2 drops of urine I was able to procure before they evaporated and proudly wagged the distinctly two-lined test in his face. He smiled and hugged me, as if we were finding out for the first time. Does he not realize I've already sent out a press release and had "big brother" shirts printed for Finn? I'm starting to think he's going to be a disbeliever until I'm actually giving birth, at which time he will begin freaking out, asking me why I hadn't told him sooner.
As an aside, are these not the cutest tippy-toes you ever did see?
As an aside, are these not the cutest tippy-toes you ever did see?
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
And now for 4 weeks of silence...
I'm pregnant. And I'm fucking stoked.
(In other news, Blogger is dumb and keeps flipping this horizontal picture vertically...but you get the gist.)
So besides being achingly tired, I am so so so excited about being pregnant. I am really REALLY going to try to enjoy every minute of the pregnancy because I feel like my time carrying Finn was such a blur of nerves and anxiousness. There are 6 people who knew that we were trying to get pregnant and I'm planning on telling them that the deed is done. Besides that, Mike wants to wait until after our first doctor appointment on March 16. I'll be nearly 9 weeks then. I never really understood the deal about waiting to tell people until you were in your 13th week - I mean, I GET it....but if I were to lose the baby, am I really not going to tell my close friends or family about it? Maybe there are people have miscarriages, shrug their shoulders and keep quiet, but I am NOT one of them.
Next week I'm on a business trip in Las Vegas with a good portion of the team that I work with. This will be our 4th year there for this particular conference and the past 3 years we've gotten pretty consistently rowdy. It will be fairly interesting to figure out how I'm going to pull off the whole "I'm partying without alcohol" thing without bringing attention to myself. My plan is to have a drink (non alcoholic, natch) in my hand at all times and act slightly obnoxious. No one wants to give more alcohol to the obnoxious girl.
If BabyCenter.com has their dates right, my due date will be at the end of October, my little boo baby. I find this to be pretty perfect to have my leave over the holidays when things generally get a bit slower for me at work. This will also mean I'll be able to take all the trips I was scheduled for on our 2009 travel docket, which will cause far less waves for my boss. I guess things happen when they are supposed to, eh?*
*This is much easier to say now that I am actually pregnant, but I hate when people say this when I'm waiting for something that I want right now. But now that I'm all zen and pregnant and shit, I'm totally allowed to say this.
So besides being achingly tired, I am so so so excited about being pregnant. I am really REALLY going to try to enjoy every minute of the pregnancy because I feel like my time carrying Finn was such a blur of nerves and anxiousness. There are 6 people who knew that we were trying to get pregnant and I'm planning on telling them that the deed is done. Besides that, Mike wants to wait until after our first doctor appointment on March 16. I'll be nearly 9 weeks then. I never really understood the deal about waiting to tell people until you were in your 13th week - I mean, I GET it....but if I were to lose the baby, am I really not going to tell my close friends or family about it? Maybe there are people have miscarriages, shrug their shoulders and keep quiet, but I am NOT one of them.
Next week I'm on a business trip in Las Vegas with a good portion of the team that I work with. This will be our 4th year there for this particular conference and the past 3 years we've gotten pretty consistently rowdy. It will be fairly interesting to figure out how I'm going to pull off the whole "I'm partying without alcohol" thing without bringing attention to myself. My plan is to have a drink (non alcoholic, natch) in my hand at all times and act slightly obnoxious. No one wants to give more alcohol to the obnoxious girl.
If BabyCenter.com has their dates right, my due date will be at the end of October, my little boo baby. I find this to be pretty perfect to have my leave over the holidays when things generally get a bit slower for me at work. This will also mean I'll be able to take all the trips I was scheduled for on our 2009 travel docket, which will cause far less waves for my boss. I guess things happen when they are supposed to, eh?*
*This is much easier to say now that I am actually pregnant, but I hate when people say this when I'm waiting for something that I want right now. But now that I'm all zen and pregnant and shit, I'm totally allowed to say this.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Inconclusive
As already established, I have taken this getting-pregnant-thing to a level that I didn't know that I had in me. Whether it be desire or just good old fashioned impatience I found myself deciding to start testing on Friday, 5 days before my period was due to start. OH - and something else that I should mention that will further solidify my status as a total weirdo - I decided that I want Mike to be the one that sees the positive test so he can tell me that we are pregnant. Silly, yes, I realize this. Okay, moving on....
Friday morning I jumped up and tested right away. I placed the test on the lip of the sink and jumped back in bed and proceeded to stare at Mike until he opened his eyes. He mumbled 'morning' and tried to pretend he didn't realize why I was smirking and wiggling around with excitement. He finally got out of bed (when i pushed him) and ducked into the bathroom. A minute later, he popped his hand around the door with 1 finger extended. 1 line. Damn. I jumped up, needing to examine it myself. After staring a hole in it, I said to Mike "Look at this line, there is definitely a line here!" He takes it from me and busts out laughing. "Mike! Don't laugh at me! I see a line!" He says "That isn't a line." Sigh. (I swear it was there! I admit it was barely there, but it was there)
Saturday morning, Mike crawled back into bed with me after checking out the test and said "Inconclusive." "What does that mean?" "Another 'barely there' line." I went into the bathroom to see for myself and the line was indeed faint, but not quite as practically invisible as it was yesterday. "This is WAY darker than yesterday!" I said to him. "Inconclusive," he repeated.
This morning, I woke up at 4am with a serious need to pee, but since the tests always say that your levels are strongest in the morning, I didn't want to waste all that hormone-full urine, so I convinced myself to go back to bed. Cue 5 am. I simply couldn't wait, so I decided to pee into my cup and then just wait until a little later to test. It was while I was putting the bowl of pee onto the counter and going back to bed that I realized "Wow. I really am being weird about this whole thing." Mike had to be at work at 7 this morning, so I woke up again while he was in the shower and I got up, dipped the strip, put it on the sink and went back to bed. A couple of minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom and I sat straight up. "Inconclusive," he said. I layed back down. After he got dressed, he climbed next to me in bed and said, "It's a little bit darker than yesterday, but still light. What do you think?" I smiled and said "I think a line is line and that means I'm pregnant." "I'm not convinced," he said. Ahh, my typical disbelieving husband. He wants a neon sign to pop out from the test that proclaims, "YOU, ma'am, are indeed PREGNANT! And Mike is the father of the fine speciman! Congratulations!" and then a bunch of streamers to pop out.
After he went to work, I checked out the site where I bought the tests and the site agreed with me - a line means pregnant, no matter how faint. However, Mike's cautious optimism is definitely rubbing off on me (although he's certainly more of the cautious scale and I'm more on the 'let's send out birth announcements' side).
Friday morning I jumped up and tested right away. I placed the test on the lip of the sink and jumped back in bed and proceeded to stare at Mike until he opened his eyes. He mumbled 'morning' and tried to pretend he didn't realize why I was smirking and wiggling around with excitement. He finally got out of bed (when i pushed him) and ducked into the bathroom. A minute later, he popped his hand around the door with 1 finger extended. 1 line. Damn. I jumped up, needing to examine it myself. After staring a hole in it, I said to Mike "Look at this line, there is definitely a line here!" He takes it from me and busts out laughing. "Mike! Don't laugh at me! I see a line!" He says "That isn't a line." Sigh. (I swear it was there! I admit it was barely there, but it was there)
Saturday morning, Mike crawled back into bed with me after checking out the test and said "Inconclusive." "What does that mean?" "Another 'barely there' line." I went into the bathroom to see for myself and the line was indeed faint, but not quite as practically invisible as it was yesterday. "This is WAY darker than yesterday!" I said to him. "Inconclusive," he repeated.
This morning, I woke up at 4am with a serious need to pee, but since the tests always say that your levels are strongest in the morning, I didn't want to waste all that hormone-full urine, so I convinced myself to go back to bed. Cue 5 am. I simply couldn't wait, so I decided to pee into my cup and then just wait until a little later to test. It was while I was putting the bowl of pee onto the counter and going back to bed that I realized "Wow. I really am being weird about this whole thing." Mike had to be at work at 7 this morning, so I woke up again while he was in the shower and I got up, dipped the strip, put it on the sink and went back to bed. A couple of minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom and I sat straight up. "Inconclusive," he said. I layed back down. After he got dressed, he climbed next to me in bed and said, "It's a little bit darker than yesterday, but still light. What do you think?" I smiled and said "I think a line is line and that means I'm pregnant." "I'm not convinced," he said. Ahh, my typical disbelieving husband. He wants a neon sign to pop out from the test that proclaims, "YOU, ma'am, are indeed PREGNANT! And Mike is the father of the fine speciman! Congratulations!" and then a bunch of streamers to pop out.
After he went to work, I checked out the site where I bought the tests and the site agreed with me - a line means pregnant, no matter how faint. However, Mike's cautious optimism is definitely rubbing off on me (although he's certainly more of the cautious scale and I'm more on the 'let's send out birth announcements' side).
Friday, February 6, 2009
In my shoes
For some reason I felt that it was necessary to take another ovulation test on Wednesday after Tuesday's positive result, just to see what would happen. Well, it was another positive test. Off to Google I went, and found that it was perfectly normal to get a couple of days of positives. Just to see what would happen, I took another test last night and it was negative, which was relieving to me for some reason. I think all the talk about ovulation tests is giving Mike performance anxiety, which totally sucks. I didn't want it all to turn into this, for that very reason.
I'm finding that no one really wants to talk about all of this. Especially people who aren't trying to get pregnant or haven't had kids yet. Mike has recently given me permission to tell a couple more people we are trying (although expressly forbidding me to tell family, which is fine by me) and I really haven't had anyone who I feel like I relate to completely, even the friend who has been trying for nearly a year. I tried to talk to a childless (and not trying) friend about it earlier in the week and here is our IM conversation:
**********
Me: so i'm kinda a freak now, i went to one of those sites that sells the bulk pregnancy test strips and ovulation kits
Her: lord
Me: so i've been taking these ovulation predictor tests every night since saturday
Her: honey. you're 28?
Me: (shut it)
Her: slow down
Me: (now)
Her: just try for 6 months without all this craziness
Me: it's not crazy!
Her: ugh
Her: can you scroll back and read your crazy please
Me: it's using modern science to aid in getting pregnant - i'm not standing on my head and doing voodoo. i'm like "hey, I don't want to have sex 9 days in a row, so just tell me when i need to have sex"
Her: no, i get it...i just think it's a weird route to go when you're so young and you've only been trying a little while. this seems like step 2 to me
Me: i know, i'm impatient, i don’t deny that. i'm busy and i'm tired and having sex for 10 days straight is honestly not my idea of fun...so i'm just taking some of the guesswork out :)
Her: okok
Me: i know it sounds crazy to you
Her: it does for your age. i've seen my friends do all this mess, but they are all 35, it just seem ludicrous to do it so young.
Me: but when you are (finally) like "I WANT BABIES" you'll know what it feels like b/c you want them NOWNOWNOW
Her: ok - i guess i'll just take your word for it
**********
I'm finding that no one really wants to talk about all of this. Especially people who aren't trying to get pregnant or haven't had kids yet. Mike has recently given me permission to tell a couple more people we are trying (although expressly forbidding me to tell family, which is fine by me) and I really haven't had anyone who I feel like I relate to completely, even the friend who has been trying for nearly a year. I tried to talk to a childless (and not trying) friend about it earlier in the week and here is our IM conversation:
**********
Me: so i'm kinda a freak now, i went to one of those sites that sells the bulk pregnancy test strips and ovulation kits
Her: lord
Me: so i've been taking these ovulation predictor tests every night since saturday
Her: honey. you're 28?
Me: (shut it)
Her: slow down
Me: (now)
Her: just try for 6 months without all this craziness
Me: it's not crazy!
Her: ugh
Her: can you scroll back and read your crazy please
Me: it's using modern science to aid in getting pregnant - i'm not standing on my head and doing voodoo. i'm like "hey, I don't want to have sex 9 days in a row, so just tell me when i need to have sex"
Her: no, i get it...i just think it's a weird route to go when you're so young and you've only been trying a little while. this seems like step 2 to me
Me: i know, i'm impatient, i don’t deny that. i'm busy and i'm tired and having sex for 10 days straight is honestly not my idea of fun...so i'm just taking some of the guesswork out :)
Her: okok
Me: i know it sounds crazy to you
Her: it does for your age. i've seen my friends do all this mess, but they are all 35, it just seem ludicrous to do it so young.
Me: but when you are (finally) like "I WANT BABIES" you'll know what it feels like b/c you want them NOWNOWNOW
Her: ok - i guess i'll just take your word for it
**********
So I guess this is like any other thing, you don't understand it until you are there.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Insurance sex
So yesterday after all my bitching about potentially faulty ovulation tests and freaking out about the timing of my cycle, I came home and got a positive ovulation test. You'd have thought it was a pregnancy test I was so damn excited. 
Okay, so for those of you who aren't familiar with these tests, you've come to the right place b/c I'm basically an ovulation expert now (if you can be an expert by doing 57 google searches). Basically you get this surge of a hormone called LH which is what prompts your body to release the egg. So these tests are basically telling you that your egg is going to the singles bar in search of some sperm, so those swimmers better gel their hair and bring money for drinks pronto.
So after I got this positive test, I really didn't know what to do exactly because the instructions that came with the test were pretty vague. So began my Google quest and I came across one site that said that you should have sex the day of your surge and 2 days after. And then, a line that made me laugh out loud: "Also consider "insurance" sex for one more day in case you ovulate late." I'm not sure why this struck me so funny. Another thing the site said was that in a perfect world, you will have had sex the day before your surge too - which we happened to do, so I'm pretty stoked. I know what's coming next, though...I basically feel like I'm becoming this personal little baby maker and insuring that it will happen b/c...shit - i know for certain that I did ovulate, we had sex on all the right days, i'm doing all the right things. I have to remember it's not up to me, even though I want so badly to be able to control this. I guess we'll see....
Okay, so for those of you who aren't familiar with these tests, you've come to the right place b/c I'm basically an ovulation expert now (if you can be an expert by doing 57 google searches). Basically you get this surge of a hormone called LH which is what prompts your body to release the egg. So these tests are basically telling you that your egg is going to the singles bar in search of some sperm, so those swimmers better gel their hair and bring money for drinks pronto.
So after I got this positive test, I really didn't know what to do exactly because the instructions that came with the test were pretty vague. So began my Google quest and I came across one site that said that you should have sex the day of your surge and 2 days after. And then, a line that made me laugh out loud: "Also consider "insurance" sex for one more day in case you ovulate late." I'm not sure why this struck me so funny. Another thing the site said was that in a perfect world, you will have had sex the day before your surge too - which we happened to do, so I'm pretty stoked. I know what's coming next, though...I basically feel like I'm becoming this personal little baby maker and insuring that it will happen b/c...shit - i know for certain that I did ovulate, we had sex on all the right days, i'm doing all the right things. I have to remember it's not up to me, even though I want so badly to be able to control this. I guess we'll see....
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
+14?
So now that I am officially a crazy lady in the possession of bulk ovulation and pregnancy test strips, I am trying to figure out all of this ov stuff. My period started on Jan. 21, which puts me at day 14 now. I've been doing these ovulation test strips since day 10 and they are all coming out negative. I never used to try to figure this out before - I went to babycenter.com, put in the first day of my period, and it told me which days to get busy, so I busied myself the best I could. This is a new realm for me, turning baby making into a science experiment. It's funny to stand in front of the cabinet and decide which bowl I will pee in. Should I choose in the small bowl that I usually put salsa in? Or should I test my urine in the little dish in which I serve Finn's goldfish snacks? And when I'm done peeing in this bowl, should I keep in the bathroom for tomorrow or should I wash it? And should I throw it away once I get pregnant? I mean, the dishwasher should get it pretty much back to normal....right?
Mike isn't upset that I've turned our bathroom into a small laboratory. He's just confused. "Babe, it's going to happen, don't get all crazy." Seriously, boys just don't understand. We made the decision to get pregnant, I want a baby in my belly pronto! And thanks a gal named Shannon who commented on my blog (OMG SOMEONE IS READING THIS BLOG!!!) I was able to buy all these tests at a site for super cheap, so it seems like really, I'm saving us money because we all know my feelings on how expensive those stupid tests are at the grocery store.
Anyway, my point is that I'm afraid that my ov time has already come and gone b/c my period was so late this month, and if that's the case does everything DEFINITELY get pushed back with it? Or is there a chance that I'll get my period right on schedule this month? I know, I know, this is NOT a perfect science but I'm only 4 months in and I'm kinda going crazy!
Mike isn't upset that I've turned our bathroom into a small laboratory. He's just confused. "Babe, it's going to happen, don't get all crazy." Seriously, boys just don't understand. We made the decision to get pregnant, I want a baby in my belly pronto! And thanks a gal named Shannon who commented on my blog (OMG SOMEONE IS READING THIS BLOG!!!) I was able to buy all these tests at a site for super cheap, so it seems like really, I'm saving us money because we all know my feelings on how expensive those stupid tests are at the grocery store.
Anyway, my point is that I'm afraid that my ov time has already come and gone b/c my period was so late this month, and if that's the case does everything DEFINITELY get pushed back with it? Or is there a chance that I'll get my period right on schedule this month? I know, I know, this is NOT a perfect science but I'm only 4 months in and I'm kinda going crazy!
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